July 17, 2006

9 days...

Went to work at noon yesterday, thought it would be an average normal day...

I was standing outside the south entrance, looking up at the guys in the cherry picker taking down the "Robinsons-May" sign on the side of the building, and I know I was standing outside the safety cones, or maybe leaning up against one of the cones but still not technically inside their danger zone, and I was watching carefully the whole time, it's not like I was daydreaming or talking and smoking with The Girls, when all of a sudden the guy shouts "Look out!" but by the time I could figure out it was the guy up above me in the crane, the guy supposedly holding the 4' tall "R", the guy with the look of panic and lawsuit and unemployment on his face, this huge glass and metal R meteor crashes down right on my foot. My left foot. The foot that already had scrapes on it from my new flip-flops. The foot that was already sore now has a giant R on it, with shards of glass and metal shrapnel flying out in to the parking lot, landing on top of the cars and knocking the security dude off his ten-speed bike, and as the butter-fingered guy 15 feet up is hollering at me "are you okay? are you okay?" I'm looking back up at him trying to yell back "no you freakin' idiot I'm not ok I got a ton of R smashin' my foot into the asphalt why do think I'd be ok --" and I see behind him, this suddenly safety-conscious guy worried about everybody down below his alphabet missiles, I see the rest of the letters start to peel off the stucco, like your science project photos because Mom bought the cheapest glue stick, and the letters are still connected to each other and pulling each other off the wall, free at last! they've been bolted up there for 20 years, and the S smacks into the crane basket so the guy turns just in time to catch the O straight in the chest and he's hanging on like it's a lover but he's heading for the sidewalk followed by NS-MAY and everyone is screaming and running, except the guy that can't run because there's a huge R pinning his foot to the ground (that would be me), and then the last letter breaks free from the wall, the Y lets go and like alphabet soup down the drain the letters crash to earth, sending the clumsy construction worker flying into me, knocking me, except my left shoe, free from the R. And but for a few scratches and a lot of dust, everyone is alright. There is a mess to clean up, but it's not my job.

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The sign guy apologized, and I went in a picked out a new pair of shoes, free of charge.

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just kidding.

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But they really did take the sign down yesterday. I wonder if they recycle the letters, sell them cheap to a store called "MOORS AN NIBY'S" or something.

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4 comments:

work in progress said...

You SOOO had me going there! I had visions of your mangled, bloody foot and was about to call 2x4 and make him call to see if you're okay.

You big jerk.

Pass the Apple Jacks. Gosh I'm gullible.

twobuyfour said...

Very funny. So I guess as your life in the responsible, mature, employed world draws to an end you have taken up practical jokes as a hobby?

Try using your powers for good, not evil.

Stacey said...

Ouch, poor foot! You had me worried there for a moment, too. And I don't even know you! I just started to really feel sorry for your foot. Well, I'm glad it's OK. And even more, I'm glad you're OK too.

Carla said...

That was funny there were tears comming running down my face. I never thought that place would ever die. But with the sign gone there closes an era in our lifetime.