March 30, 2008

art as authority

this is the guy (the one getting inked as part of his art show) who teaches us how to do the art classes for the boys' school...

I haven't really checked out the site yet, so I take no responsibility... there is a nice article on him in Sunday's U-T though...


I am honored to have a celebrity visit my blog, and a comment from the artist himself, Kevin Freitas:

"The blog, is user friendly and user safe and covers a lot of what's going on in the arts in SD. I welcome everyone to check it out and leave a comment, if they so desire. The exhibit downtown at Simayspace Gallery that I organized and curated (and where I was inked), is within the confines of the Art Academy of San Diego, and is open until April 25th. Please visit. Thanks!"

So go. Get some culture in your life.

March 28, 2008

similes and metaphors


"Purportedly, every year, English teachers from across the country submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease .

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for awhile.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up."

March 26, 2008


this is cool -- put in an author you like* and it will show you others close in style you might like...

I would never have connected Emily Dickinson and Fannie Flagg with Michael Chabon, but it seems worth investigating...

*or dis-like, if you want to avoid similar authors...

March 14, 2008

I've mentioned her before, one of my favorite blog writers*, who now seems to be writing a new One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: Boobs, Injuries...
Read it upside down, of course, go down to find "Part 1: I Hate Tapioca"...

*I still crack up** over her redecorating her son's room with condoms.

**oops, shouldn't use the term "crack up"

March 1, 2008

Election Year!

I don't usually espouse my political views out loud, and while I would have voted for him 8 years ago (man, that seems like soooo long ago!), I think there is a very important question to ask before you check the box for John McCain:

If you are between the ages of 20 and 30, would you want your Great-Grandfather as President? You might not even have one, they're mostly dead by now...

If you're between 30 and 40, do you want to vote for your Grandfather? C'mon, you don't go visit him regularly, and if you do you, don't you roll your eyes a lot?

If you're 40-60, aren't you thinking of plans for taking care of Dad, looking into nice facilities with backgammon night and several varieties of jello, rather than installing him in the Oval Office?

If you're over 60 and still get to the voting booth, how many times did you lose your glasses or car keys this morning? How many times did you forget you were looking for your glasses or car keys? Would your wife trust (let alone vote for) you as the Leader of the Free World?