August 31, 2006

Reading List

Teacher Man, Frank McCourt
Going Postal, Terry Pratchett
Reading Lolita In Tehran, Azar Nafisi
actually, just started this one, but it's sitting right here.
Charlotte's Web, E.B. White
(the E is for "Elwyn" -- which is why he went by "Andy")
technically a text book, one of 8 books sitting on my desk the first day of class.

Speaking of the first day of class... Is it considered counting tassels before they're hatched to mark April of 2008 on the calendar in order for you to not forget my graduation gift? Cash will be fine, since I will still have more school for the teaching credential (details, details...) and since I'll probably be doing my final exams from a cardboard box along the San Diego River if I don't get a job. So far TMW&BW has been too impressed with the sparkling kitchen counters and dinner on the table to notice I haven't dusted off my resume, much less put on a tie [shudder, grimace, hold fingers up in a cross to ward off evil] and actually looked for employment.

I'm actually progressing quite well with the self-rationalization deal, y'know, the I'm doing this for my family, I want to spend time with my kids, yada yada ya ya... If I have a job I have to either be at work or be studying when they are all home. So the quality family time around the dining room table would be compromised. How would my sons hear my cherished Dad-isms, words of infinite wisdom passed down for generations*? How would the Wife compliment my citrus ginger chicken breasts? If I have a job all semblance of a normal happy family life is lost, and the boys will grow to be burdens on society. I'm staying unemployed for you, the taxpayer.

*if you're going to blog until midnight with the big boys, you have to sleep late with the big boys. Or I'll give you something to cry about!

August 26, 2006

Naked Algebra

...Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Factoring Trinomials.

Started my math class, online!, so I can bring snacks, put my feet up on the chair next to my desk, and turn on the NFL Network while learning how to find the absolute value of quadratic equations. I tried popping on the headphones with some Van Morrison, put that proved distracting. And I can get up and go to the bathroom whenever I want.

Also started espanol. Comienzo clase de espanol. Can't wear my underwear to that one. I mean, I do wear underwear, clean every day, but I can't just wear the underwear, I accessorize with a color-coordinated short/tee/flip-flop ensemble. And usually a hat, 'cause when you're unemployed* you don't have to comb your hair, sometimes all week.

*or a "kept man" as TMW&BW likes to say, usually before reminding me to clean something.

August 23, 2006


It's the "seizure while shaving" look. Haven't had clean smooth cheeks since July 28th. Grizzly Adams I ain't, I do touch the razor to my face at least once a day, but do quite the crappy job. My apologies to the seizure-prone community.

August 21, 2006

Starting Over

After the countdown: not a blast-off as much as a slow fizzle, fits and starts, a puttering about at the speed barely above inert. Moss is growing on my north wing.

Whether I am ready for school or not, school is ready for me: Math tomorrow, Spanish Wed, and Azusa Pacific (go Cougars!) next Tuesday. The biggie is Azusa, degree program and all that, and I already have homework (see "my autobiography"). So why am I not doing my homework? Why have I not opened the Spanish book I picked up last week to get a head start (cabeza principio)? I could blame Reggie Bush -- Cowboys 3, Saints 0 -- but it's probably genetic. Thanks folks.

For some reason I just don't feel confident enough I really can or should do this. What do I know about teaching? What do I know about kids, except my own uglies? Deep down I KNOW I can teach, I feel I should teach. I'm not worried about a hard road getting there, I just think most people will be in the fast lane with a lot more extras on the vehicle. So... I guess I should do some homework.

August 19, 2006

Reading List

I haven't been totally useless this month:

East of Eden, John Steinbeck
The Well of Lost Plots, Jasper Fforde
Naked, David Sedaris
The Baseball Un-cyclopedia (was Nolan Ryan great, or just good? and the candy bar was named after the slugger)
The Time Warp Trio (various books, #2's recommendation)

August 18, 2006

I'm baaaaack...

Ah, what a long strange trip it's been...

Actually, what a lazy relaxing chill it's been: pool, beach, pool, just hangin' out. Most days I couldn't even tell you the date or day of week w/out concentrating. I can see how easy it would be to get trapped in the fog, the miasma of summer days and unemployment, a lethal combination. I have set the alarm clock, I need my quiet morning coffee time. I achieved one goal, watching season 4 of 24. I've cleaned out half the kitchen cabinets, throwing away 43 plastic cups from kids meals and 71 boxes of stale crackers. No one is happy I combined the 38 partial boxes of cereal into 6 full boxes (Cheereatiecrunchchex, anyone?), but it all tastes the same when it's soggy in milk. Then there's the DAILY football practice, 2 hours searching the mass of identical helmets and jerseys tripping over each other for my very own future Hall of Famer -- oh there he is, on the bottom of the pile. Again. And my final excuse for not doing much at all: broke my right elbow falling off #1's skateboard, so this is the first day my left hand had any help with life's daily chores.

Another countdown begins: school starts next week! And I think I'm supposed to be looking for a, um, whatcha call it, a job (shudder).

August 4, 2006

flowers in my hair

Unemployment... so far, so good (he says, laying in bed in SanFran with a belly full of crab and sourdough)