November 25, 2007

How To Gain 20 lbs in 4 Days

Who's idea was it to put a huge feast at the start of the long holiday weekend? The Four Days of Football (yes, I know the minor celebration of Thanksgiving is in the mix too, but let's focus on what's important) is a glorious national tradition, and should culminate in the massive gorging, instead of starting 96 hours of how much can I stuff in my gut, and where is that pair of 42" waist jeans?

Thursday was the turkey, of course, accompanied by the usual stuffing, potatoes, brownies, Newcastle, pecan pie, apple pie, more Newcastle, and another brownie. or two....

Friday was Cocktail Hour at Mom's, with olives, oysters, lox, caviar, cream cheese on all of the above, shrimp, pecan pie, quiche, lamb, apple pie, truffles, shrimp, unpronounceable cheeses, and can't let those shrimp the boys left on their plates go to waste...

Saturday the Sister got married (again, and sort of) so the union must be ceremoniously recognized with a meal! Carnitas, rice, cerveza, guacamole, margaritas, and cake...

not to mention all the left overs in between, I mean it's not good for the fridge to be so packed full, is it? Just doing my part to improve energy consumption efficiency...

So today, the sad (but full of Football) end of the long weekend, begets a tough choice -- celery with my water? Or just water? Then again, meatball sandwiches would be good. And a Newcastle, with chips, and lots of cheese, and there's a piece of pie hidden in the back of the fridge, behind the SlimFast shakes, and...

...and skip the jeans, where are The Wife's maternity sweat pants?

2 comments:

twobuyfour said...

Believe me, I wish I could have been there to take in my fair share. We had a nice holiday, but it wasn't like the Thanksgivings I remember.

I always thought it was MORE energy efficient to a fridge for be full. You may want to leave some of that stuff in there in order to save the planet, if not your waistband.

JK said...

Now you tell me! But don't worry, in order to not stretch out all my waistbands, I've stopped wearing pants.