January 17, 2009

Dread, part 3

As I sit here typing this instead of my final case study (unstarted, due in 4 days) I do get that ol' familiar "sense of doom" -- but been there, done that, haven't gotten too much done in my life that wasn't put off 'til the last minute and up against a deadline.

So it's something different this time. It's something heavier, deeper, something that keeps getting turned away from. But just like that preposition at the end of the sentence, it's THERE; I can't ignore it, I can't move on. I've always taken pride in myself as a shallow person -- easy going, no drama, let it roll off my back and the sun'll come up tomorrow....

Maybe it's impending mortality. Maybe it's the other side of mortality. Maybe it's one of my mother's premonitions, the extra sense passed down and yet dormant all these years. I've had periods of my life filled with the fear of terrible things happening; everyone's wondered if an ex-spouse would die in a car crash, haven't they? No?

Hmmm.... Or this just a bit too much to share in cyberspace? Should I knock on wood or spectaclestesticleswallet&watch ? Have I doomed myself, or others, by confessing my sense of dread? Should I let sleeping dogs lie, or in this case, dieing dogs sleep?

should I learn how to spell "dieing"? that never looks right...

3 comments:

SBS said...

I think this is a normal feeling when branching out of our comfort zone. The thing we have to do is overcome it by facing it head on. Keep moving. It will go away. And, if not, buy a dog. They always make you feel better ;)

Slim said...

Are you watching the news a lot? Dude, turn it off. The middle east is still a mess. Leave it at that and go get a tan.

JK said...

So you like the shallow side of me better, SiL?
No news on here, just football, and yer just jealous 'cause you guys probably haven't even seen the sun in weeks...