Detention Slip Week

Shark Week? pu-leeze... Courtesy of "Zero Out of Five" -- it's Detention Slip Week!

My "kids say the darndest most inappropriate things" moments in 5th grade caused me to bend, there was a slight smirk that briefly escaped, but not break:

After the Principal announced over the intercom that the mud and rain would mean no balls would be allowed outside during recess, a 10-year old female quipped "guess the boys have to stay inside" -- I was surprised, borderline shocked, but pretended I didn't hear her...

While discussing the difference between hearing and listening, one girl gave a real world example using one of her cute but disruptive classmates: "Well, when his 2nd wife is talking to him..." I know I shouldn't reward students for insulting each other, but her combination of concern and cleverness earned her extra reward tickets...

My Master Teacher nearly got me, and I know she was trying to, -- after reminder me of the Seinfeld "rectum, damn near killed him!" line she gave the students her pre-human biology body functions speech on being mature and respectful, repeating the word rectum so often I had to turn my back and thoroughly clean the bookshelves until she finished...